Large cactus (Barming, Maidstone ME16)

It has tiny, invisible hairs that stick in you and are really irritating (in both senses of the word!). We've decided our house isn't big enough to find it a home where no-one will accidentally brush against it. Needs a remote (but bright) corner of a conservatory, or an out-of-the-way windowsill. It's a lovely plant but has been banished outside in this freezing weather so won't last long unless someone takes it.